Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
Exclusive link to Google Street View so you can watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
Takes Polaroids
When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects
Prominent Apple logo
Reproduces through asexual budding
Has way, way more PRAM than the last thingy
Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you're not using it
